Interference

If you don’t happen to know, 2012 is an election year not just in the United States: France will also elect its next president this year, and it always makes for exciting conversation.  In order to continue, why don’t we review the French political process a bit?  A little French Gov. 101?  Okay?  On y va.  C’est parti.

Unlike the States, France follows a parliamentary system with multiple parties forming a coalition government in order to make and pass laws.  Those parties run the familiar gamut from the left to right that we all love to hate, each representing interests that range in breadth from specific to general.  Wikipedia lists 17 active parties, and I’ve heard of the majority: Lutte ouvrière (LO; Workers’ Party), Gauche unitaire (GU; Unitarian Left), Parti de gauche (PG; Left Party), Parti communiste français (PCF; French Communist Party), Parti socialiste (PS; Socialist Party), Les vertes (Green Party), Mouvement démocrate (MoDem; Moderate Democrates), Nouveau centre (NC; New Center), Union pour un mouvement populaire (UMP; Populist Union Movement), Mouvement pour la France (MPF; Movement for France), Front National (FN; National Front).  Out of all of them, your typical American would probably recognize the PS and UMP, with your more perceptive Americans picking up on the Vertes and the FN.  When you think PS, think Democrats; when you think UMP, think Republicans; when you think Vertes, think the Green Party; when you think FN, think what a thinly-veiled Klu Klux Klan would be like if they engaged in politics.  And sadly, most of them have candidates representing them in the upcoming elections.  The main candidates are as follows:

PS: François Hollande

UMP: Nicolas Sarkozy (current president)

MoDem: François Bayrou

Vertes: Eva Joly

FN: Marine Le Pen

Google-able graphic that shows most of the major candidates and their parties, except Hollande.

All the major candidates this time. From TF1.com

The last two French elections have been newsmakers worldwide for vastly different reasons.  2007 saw the first viable female candidate for president of a Western nation in the form of Ségolène Royale (who at the time was François Hollande’s unmarried partner); in 2002, the Front National somehow squeaked their candidate, Jean-Marie Le Pen (Marine Le Pen’s father), into the final round of elections but got trounced to the tune of something like 95% to 5%.  Guess cooler heads do prevail.

Believe it or not, there are 13 candidates as of right now that will be on the ballot for the premier tour.  See, instead of primaries in the American sense, the French have two rounds of elections in order to separate the wheat from the other thing.  The top two vote-getters in the premier tour, or first round, proceed to the deuxième tour, or second round, which decides who becomes president.  For the first time in the history of any French republic, the Socialists had a primary to decide who their candidate would be, as usually the party big wigs would choose, and besides a pervasive sense of “I’m a big kid now!” it was really heartening to watch a newly-introduced democratic idea test its shaky legs.  The elections take place mere weeks apart so as to limit campaigning time.  The great part?  Because television media is state-owned, there are no candidate commercials.  Yes, Americans, be jealous.

Any party can present a candidate as long as they receive the correct number of petition signatures (like the States’ primaries), and let me tell you, if they get the signatures, they parade their candidate in front of any yahoo with a camera and a microphone — probably to make up for the lack of commercials.  For the French, I’m sure it’s annoying to see an endless stream of candidates and their ideas pour l’amélioration de la France paraded on the news every morning, noon, and night, but for me, it’s as endlessly amusing as hearing it discussed in the staff room or around a table in the pub.  (My French colleagues find it amusing that I’m amused, but that’s a different story.)

You all are probably thinking, “That’s all well and good, S’Beckles, but why the in the name of all that is holy/chocolaty do I care?  It’s a different country’s election.”  And to you I say: thank you for making my point so succinctly.  And deliciously.

A couple of weeks ago, German Chancellor Angela Merkel went on live national French TV and declared her support for French President Nicolas Sarkozy, completely validating Benetton’s controversial kissing ads and setting off a new round of speculation on just how unfortunate their offspring would look.

And this is a rather decent picture of them both. Also, click on the link: the picture illustrates my point.

Besides speculating on whether or not they were holding hands out of frame, what I found interesting was that the head of a foreign state would consciously and obtrusively stick his or her nose into another country’s election process.  Of course, most Western nations’ news outlets cover everyone else’s elections, and the second country’s pundits’ talking heads do what they do best, but I cannot recall a time when I saw another head of state publicly takes sides.  Even in U.S. elections, and even if a given country’s opinion is common knowledge, most leaders keep their lips shut and most definitely do not go on that country’s television networks and explode with political love.

At the time, I thought it a brilliant political strategy and wondered why the Sarkozy camp had not thought of it before.  In the worst recession since the conception of the Euro, says the part of my brain that maps out others’ campaigns, why would you vote out one of the two main partners who know the terrain?  Sarkozy is familiar with the territory, with the other key players involved in the Eurozone crisis, and that familiarity could pay dividends.  And then I take off my Bush ‘04 hat and realize that while these are truly important points, they’re not everything, and Sarkozy has had five years to get this whole presidency thing right, and if the French are unhappy, then only the French can vote him out.

In other words, I thought the interview was simply someone sticking her nose in where it probably didn’t belong.

And then I watched the news tonight.  France 2 picked up a story originally appearing Monday in the German newspaper Der Spiegel that talks of an “Anti-Hollande Pact” forming amongst the conservative leaders of Europe, namely Merkel of Germany, Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti, Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, and possibly even British Prime Minister David Cameron.  Spain and Italy have vowed to reject any meeting with Hollande until he formally represents the French people, and as of right now, there are no planned meetings between Hollande and Merkel.  They’re upset because Hollande has stated that if elected, he would renegotiate the balanced budget pact signed last Friday, one that they think could potentially save the Eurozone.

Understandable worry, but still.  When I saw this on the news, my jaw dropped, and I immediately began searching online news sources just to make sure I hadn’t misheard.  Nope: the conservative leaders of Europe are not only weighing in on a foreign country’s internal political process, but they’re also ganging up on a specific candidate like kids on the playground ready to exclude him from their kickball game.  The Socialists are justifiably outraged: the afore-linked FranceTV quotes Socialist secretary Jean-Christophe Cambadélis as saying that Angela Merkel has gone too far, and I am disposed to agree.  I want to stand behind both Hollande and Sarkozy with a giant neon sign that says: “BUTT OUT.”  But then I’d have to translate it into, like, twenty different languages, and then that’d be a really big sign, so I think I’ll stick to my day job.

Again, but still.  Since when did countries (who aren’t the United States) feel it was their right to butt into other countries’ (who aren’t in the Middle East) electoral processes?  Yes, I understand that Chancellor Merkel and Prime Ministers Monti, Rajoy, and Cameron have the right both in their respective countries and in my head to express their opinions, but whatever happened to curtsey?  France’s presidential election truly isn’t their business, and if the French people want to change their current path, then it’s their prerogative to do so without comment from the peanut gallery.  Or the peanuts should keep their opinions to the legume section of the grocery store.

In other words, it’s one thing to have opinions and express them in the comfort of one’s own country or at least in a non-influential realm.  It’s another matter entirely when one traipses into another country and attempts to influence the electorate.  It’s poor form; it’s out of line.

If you want to point out that I’m expressing my opinion about another country’s politics, 1) I am in the comfort of my own home; my bed is rather cozy, thankyouverymuch, and 2) I’m not consciously trying to influence the people of France.  So nyah.

Petit side note: if I hear one more person say that “il faut trouver un petit français”/I need to find myself a nice Frenchman, I may go batshit and hurt things.  Doesn’t everyone understand that I’m freaking trying my best?!  Gah.  Also, I'll return to my latest vacation (as well as news of the past week) ASAP: the students' practice exams, or the bac blanc, is this week, so I have an average of two classes a day.  Whee free time!